Holyfuck

Dawn's the real name. I'm a Lobby cunt, a grammar nazi, and generally enjoy getting on VF chat. There are people on there that i've come to think of as people, rather than just words. Lobby and the Regs within it have helped change me for the better, i believe (which is sad, fgts). As i write this i think of what all i could tell them. As i look back on it, there's not much that they don't know about me if they've been there a while. I came from an abusive mother, an overbearing and judgmental father, who wants me to overachieve, a pot head turned Marine older brother.... Dysfunction at its best, like most families. I used to rave, and quit when i had a close call. After that, i'd hit depression and out ate my metabolism. I'd went up to 210 lbs. I had a high aspirin and tylenol overdose. I didn't sleep, or go out, and was getting worse in my depression. I finally let my friend Lynn take me out to the club, The Dock. I'd met a boy there who saved me. He became my master, and the one person i'd trust with anything and everything i had. I wanted him to be more than my master, and here recently it all fell apart. I've changed my hair dark so i look more like my family, and i'm in college, as well as looking for a job. I hate myself, but i love me more than i love anyone else. After i went to the club, and joined VF for the umpteenth time, i lost the weight, and was open to people, and happy. I was happy. It's a rare feeling for me xD So i got to know people, both online in a chat, and in a club that's became like my home. As i keep going, i'm going to keep posting here as well, because i enjoy the thought of these people i consider friends and family getting to know me, and i hope that they still accept me, but if not, then i'll remember the times when it was good, smile, and keep going as far as i can ^_^